The Binman by Alex Conway | Script Revolution

The Binman

When a binman obsessed with being an 80s action-hero finds himself in an undeadly war against flesh-eating zombies, only trashing his obsession can save him and the world.



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Homicidal zombies, an accidental side-effect of the aged albino scientist PROFESSOR VON
KNOBENDE’s deadly new anti-alien virus, massacre their way out of the secret VITAFEX
laboratory in New Mexico, and annihilate the populace of the nearby town of Malade Muerte.

Incredibly, some survive; the pale Professor; his demure assistant ADINA VARALICA;
hot blonde PARKER CUMMINGS a headstrong vice cop; nerdy teen NO NOB CHENLOM,
his ass-whooping granny TITTYPORN CHENLOM; chest-heavy sex-on-legs brunette
JOHNNIE-WAINE COCKINGS and foul-mouthed gun-store owner TRACEY LANCE WANKER III.

Estranged from long-suffering wife KAREN and ill son RODNEY, London binman and 80s
action-film fanatic GORDON BENNETT living in a bed-sit full of 80s action-movie stuff,
drives into town for an 80s action-hero convention early having misread the date on a flyer.

Gruesome decaying entrails stop Gordon in his tracks but his sharp exit is thwarted. Parker
takes him by surprise, commandeers his car and introduces him to the cock-teasing Johnnie.
On the litter-strewn road to Wanker’s gun-store they pick up the gore-soaked zombie butcher
Porn and petrified No Nob; the fearful bin-bag bunger reveals his mania for action-film ads.

The hefty-hootered pair mock but the hard-as-nails matriarch, exposing the kid’s bite marks,
warns of infection. The binman’s banger stalls. The stranded motley crew quarrel. A zombie
attacks. Spunky Parker guns it down but the hapless garbage groper is scratched and infected.

At the gun store, old Wanker refuses to help but the buxom femme fatale flashes her tanned
tits, and persuades the lame hunchback to arm them. Thousands of zombies launch an assault;
drag the old-codger to his death; just his hand remains clutching the key to his Humvee. They
flee, but in a brutal mêlée, Parker is torn apart. Unable to leave town, they return to the store.

They call the flesh-eaters to battle; a massacre ensues but a victory at last also for bin-toting
Gordon who resists the urge to listen to action-film trailers. Zombies engage in yet another
offensive. This time Gordon surrenders to his action-hero fantasy and slaughters the un-dead.

Johnnie, with Nob, hotwires a getaway car. Nob begs Porn to help Gordon. She bravely slays
zombies but is overcome. Hearing her ghastly shrieks, Johnnie and Nob rush to save her but
witness her grisly demise. Johnnie shoots the trash-tosser and speeds off to the lab to meet
von Knobende - her ‘father’. A test reveals Nob’s resistance is due to a fatal genetic illness.

The waste-warrior lives. In a garbage truck he rams into the lab. Meeting Adina and telling
his story, she proclaims Nob’s antibodies will kill the zombies. In a daring rescue in which
they slay the fiendish family, Gordon admits he’s a binman, not a soldier, and slew Porn.

Nob cracks the code to the Professor’s work, and discovers he’d adopted Johnnie, a secret
service agent, as a child and Adina, who’d been killed by zombies, is a shape-shifting alien.
The virus can kill it, but the antibodies are its protection. Gordon stops their release. Adina’s
true form manifests. In a fierce clash, Gordon infects the hideous alien by biting its neck.

Nob saves Gordon with a dose of his blood. Antibodies release; zombies die off. The Army,
alerted when Nob broke the code, arrives. Nob tells Gordon to flee fearing the military will
kill them. SALVATORE bombs the lab but saves Nob. Back home, Gordon vows to change.

Submitted: July 25, 2020
Last Updated: September 18, 2020

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The Writer: Alex Conway

Originally from London in the United Kingdom, Alex Conway has been a screenwriter for a number of years and written in a diverse range of genres. His first foray into the world of screenwriting resulted in the outrageous Binman Trilogy, an over-the-top horror-sci-fi-comedy that was inspired by his former teenage obsession for the muscle-bound action-movie gods he used to watch on a vinyl sofa back in the 80s. Another area of interest that has inspired several feature-length scripts in the genres of action-adventure, drama, epic and horror is the Greco-Roman world whose illustrious figures and their eminent works and exploits have long fascinated him. Lastly, the question of faith in... Go to bio

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