Who Said Penis?

Picture this: a naive college sophomore from a modest family gets swept into the stratospheric world of old money when his girlfriend of exactly four weeks invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. What he expects to be a simple "meet the parents" situation turns into a cross-country adventure aboard a private Learjet, complete with flight attendants who look like they stepped off a magazine cover and Eggs Benedict that puts five-star hotels to shame. Our unsuspecting hero finds himself deposited via stretch limo at a Bel Air mansion so obscenely opulent it makes Gatsby's place look like a hot dog stand. Twenty-three family members gather around a dining table that probably once hosted medieval royalty, presided over by an 85-year-old patriarch in a bow tie who's been napping since the Coolidge administration. Just as the Michelin Star chef-prepared turkey is about to be carved, Grandpa Thruxton's eyes snap open like a security alarm, and he bellows the question that will forever change Thanksgiving dinner: "WHO SAID PENIS?!" What follows is a cascade of chaos that would make a reality TV producer weep with joy. Wine goes flying, pants come down, children make anatomical demands, and drunk aunts share way too much information about their marital woes. Before you know it, the entire dinner table has devolved into a rousing chorus of the P-word, complete with synchronized table-banging that would make a Viking feast seem civilized. It's a tale of culture clash, family dysfunction, and the kind of holiday disaster that's absolutely mortifying in the moment but becomes legendary dinner party material for decades to come. Because sometimes the most memorable Thanksgivings are the ones where nobody actually gets to eat the turkey!