Aisle Browsing

Read Script Revolution's 'Shooting the Shorts' script review of 'Aisle Browsing' written by J.E. Clarke by following the link:
https://www.scriptrevolution.com/shootin-the-shorts/aisle-browsing

Written Pitch:
A run-down man with an active imagination blames his wife for all of the wrongs in his life, so he searches the aisles of a hardware store in search of the perfect tool to murder his wife with. As he leisurely prowls the aisles of hammers, nail guns, paint, and saws, he stops to imagine how he would perform the act with such practical tools. His imagination is gory and blood-soaked, but he always finds a mundane reason why they aren't right for the job. We hear him explain these reasons in a running internal monologue. More blood means more cleaning up, and a saw takes too much effort. Eventually, he finds what he came for and goes home to complete the deed, but doing so will prove as bothersome as the night so far.

Synopsis:

Please note: Throughout the film we hear Joe's internal thoughts and monologue which helps move the plot forward and provide jokes along the way.

JOE (50's, perpetually tired, overgrown beard, wearing a red baseball cap) drives the quiet streets of the night. He has had one of those ideas that you get every few years. His idea came to him in a dream last night. The kind of idea that will straighten out all the wrongs in his life, completely wiping the old him from existence. In its place, there will stand a taller person, able to give life another go with no dead weight pushing him down, just after he does this one thing, just after he kills his wife KAREN (50's, cat lady, wears a cardigan). He blames all of the wrong things in his life on Karen and thinks that if he gets rid of her he will be a happier person.

Joe wanders the aisles of a hardware store looking for the perfect tool for the job. As he sees potential items he imagines scenes playing out with him murdering his wife in the kitchen, the living room, and the dining room. He could drown her in paint, he could hit her over the head with a hammer, he could shoot her with a nail gun, he could throw a roof tile at her from a height. Joe decides that each of these ideas is wrong for various reasons such as being too messy; the hammer getting stuck; a nail gun being too visible; and his aim has never been accurate. He is, however, struck with the idea of renovating his kitchen after his wife is gone and adds the paint and a sledgehammer to his trolley.

Joe drops a roof tile onto the floor, drawing the attention of a nearby customer. He panics that he is drawing attention and that they might know the real reason for his shopping. He pretends to examine a product before slyly glancing back at the customer who takes deadly imaginary swings with a hammer. Are they also shopping for a murder weapon? The two make eye contact before faking smiles and moving on.

Joe worries he will never find the perfect tool, even if the shop's advertisement promises "A Tool For Every Job!". He begs for a spark of inspiration before turning into the Lighting Asile displaying bright lamps and light shades. He notices a reel of electrical wire and decides it is strong, unintrusive, and reliable. He will use it and frame the murder scene as a sciudice.

Joe arrives home with the electrical wire. Karen watches TV as she sits in an armchair in the darkness of the living room. She vapes before coughing and complaining that she should never have smoked. Joe sneaks towards her from behind, holding a length of wire. As he steps closer to his prey he shows his first signs of genuine happiness. His foot pushes down onto an old floorboard causing a loud creek. He stops still. Karen switches the TV off and sees Joe's murderous reflection in the black mirror of the TV screen. BANG!

Karen has shot Joe with a shotgun. He stumbles into the kitchen and collapses onto the floor. Karen comes to his dying body and says, "Don't worry about the mess. I was thinking of renovating the kitchen anyway".