Hitman's Retirement Party by John Hunter | Script Revolution

Hitman's Retirement Party

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8pp

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I simply asked myself, "What if?"
Logline: 
When an elderly hitman fails to complete a time sensitive assignment, his employers decide it is time for him to retire.
Synopsis/Details: 

Have you ever considered being a contract killer might not be as glamorous and well paid as Hollywood would have us believe? Maybe not all hitmen are stud-muffins with chiseled good looks and a babe hanging on their arm? Maybe some are just ordinary guys who can get older and then want to retire? Now imagine an older hitman living in a small pastel colored concrete block house in central Florida with his only friend, a cat named Buddy. Will his employers give him a grand send off when he announces he's retiring? Let's find out...

Note: Some months ago, I took down my (way too many) shorts listed on SR in an attempt to draw more attention to my features, pilots and ebooks. Since this has not resulted in any big offers I couldn't refuse, I'm now reposting some of my shorts. A catalog of my shorts is here:

https://www.scriptrevolution.com/scripts/my-way-too-many-shorts

Like most of my shorts, Hitman's Retirement Party could be blown up into a mid-budget indie feature by adding more pixels, but this (8) page version is a low(er) budget short with some modest FX.

Enjoy the read.

All Accolades & Coverage: 

Shootin' The Shorts

This Script Has Been Reviewed By Shootin' The Shorts

THE HITMAN’S RETIREMENT PARTY
Retiring is never easy…

A crim’, a clown, and a cat walk into a bar…

Sounds like the opening gambit of a joke, doesn’t it? But there is no bar, and delightfully these three characters are the headlining cast of John Hunter’s screenplay, The Hitman’s Retirement Party.

A rather gruesome opening scene introduces us to titular character – Bill, 60s, balding, glasses, – an ordinary looking Joe Blow, who if you met him on the street, he’d easily pass for an accountant, a bank manager, even a local handyman. But Bill’s anything but what he appears to be. Fact is, he’s a cold calculating killer, fast, methodical, deadly. At the front door of a mark’s house he takes out a small caliber pistol, pops the guy unceremoniously twice – a bullet in the eye, one to the head, one final parting shot to the temple for good measure. As Bill says: It’s nothing personal…

It’s just all in a day’s work. After forty years on the job however, Bill’s decided it’s time to hang up his holster for the last time. A quick call to management to inform them. Now it’s time to kick back and enjoy the spoils of retirement with his loyal sidekick, Buddy.

Buddy is Bill’s best friend, he’s been there for Bill through thick and thin. He’s the one Bill comes home to every night. You might say he’s his soft place to fall – always eager and happy to see his best mate, Bill.

As with all great sidekicks Buddy is the silent type, but don’t be fooled, there’s usually a lot going on – think: Jay and Silent Bob, Penn and Teller, Han and Chewie, The Chief and McMurphy.

There’s just one thing though… Buddy’s a cat. A meow, perhaps an affectionate coil around the legs, is likely about all you’ll get. Despite this, Bill believes he and Buddy share their own special repartee, a symbiotic relationship of sorts, least this is what Bill thinks…

But someone’s about to come between Bill and Buddy, test their loyalty and their future happiness. That someone is a clown named Terry who just so happens to turn up unannounced at Bill’s front door, dressed in fuzzy orange wig, big red nose, large floppy shoes, and holding a handful of helium filled balloons.

Has he come on behalf of management? Bill’s last phone call did lead us to believe he might be in line for a proper sendoff. Perhaps the clown comes with a parting gift, maybe a nice gold watch, or a little retirement bonus? After so many devoted years of faithful service, it’d be no surprise. Or would it?

Well you’re going to have to get to the punch-line – I mean denouement – yourself. Suffice to say John Hunter weaves a Hitman story with a difference, cleverly executed through dark comedy, tongue in cheek dialogue, the element of surprise, and some rather lovely dry wit.

Our parting shot? That Hitman’s Retirement Party is a killer script, sure to draw even the best filmmakers out of retirement.

Review by L. Chambers
Submitted: December 9, 2019
Last Updated: December 9, 2019
Times Downloaded: 9
Last Downloaded: February 11, 2020

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The Writer: John Hunter

A curious nature has led me down many paths: former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant, recovering golfer and more recently, an award winning and produced scriptwriter. My voice is character driven, slightly dark and quirky with a dash of humor. Four of my short scripts have been produced and my dystopian horror Baby Soup won the 2013 Florida Independent Filmmakers Contest. Some of my work has been turned into quick and easy to read entertainment. These are essentially Director's Cuts in not-so-wordy prose. As a FREE sample see Zentangles , a short cautionary urban tale about an obsessive young woman who gets absorbed in... Go to bio

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