Hattie's Hard Hats by Daniel Broderick | Script Revolution

Hattie's Hard Hats

Etiquette and manners guru Hattie uncharacteristically loses her cool and is ordered to teach proper behavior to five sexist, uncouth construction workers as part of the settlement of their street harassment lawsuit.



Page Count: 



Age Rating:


ACT I: The mayor deserved to be doused, but no one expected it to come from prim and proper Hattie. At least she knows she messed up. The five troglodyte hard hats, on the other hand, haven't a clue that their constant street harassment of female passers-by was not harmless fun. What's a judge to do? Kill two birds with one sentence: As a condition of your probation, you are to meet on a regular basis with these five men and in a month, we'll see how you've done.

ACT II: To avoid becoming further tabloid fodder, Hattie moves in with the judge's clerk and her teenage daughter, who could use some manners lessons as well. On a walk through town with the clerk, Hattie shows she knows her Emily Post, or Miss Manners, or whatever. But will her audience? Not likely. You can lead a louse to water, but you can't make him think. The first session, an utter failure. Never stare at a woman's chest ("Never?"); "what's worse Hattie, belching or farting?"; No calling an adult woman a girl ("They probably like it."); RSVP to written invitations ("My wife does all that."), and on and on.

Kayla, the teenager, is far more receptive to suggestions about grocery store and coffee shop manners. Dating etiquette? Not so much at first.

Round two: an asses test. A few multiple choice questions that include the correct answer and our cavemen are getting better. But they are still works in progress. "Manners speak for themselves, and never with foul language." "Everybody swears Hattie, even my mother."

How about we try some eating etiquette? Elbows off the table are the least of our problems. "I don't gotta know where the knife and fork go." "What's wrong with double dipping?" "You like the taste of other people's saliva, Gerry?" "Gimme that." This better click soon, because the judge wants a sit down dinner for everyone to assess progress.

ACT III: Progress. Hattie tries some humor which seems to work, especially with Jeff, the hunk, according to Kayla. Except teachers can't date students. It's a rule.

But as Jeff escorts Hattie down the sidewalk (him on the street side, of course), they are spotted by the women harassees, who want them all to be fired, even though it was not in the settlement. Let the sabotage begin. Trying to convince Hattie not to let them off the hook, doesn't work. So how about getting Hattie fired from her manners academy? And, even better, planting a seed in one of the men's minds that Hattie wants them all fired. That does it for the five and especially for Jeff.

And Kayla's date is off, all because of Hattie's advice, according to Kayla. All Hattie's efforts down the tube. She gives up. There has to be more to life than teaching manners and now even that is gone.

ACT IV: Oh, no you don't, says Kayla's mom. I'll fix it with these men, you fix it with my daughter. Mom not only gets the men to see the light, but conveys Jeff"s message to Hattie to meet that evening. And Kayla, back in Hattie's corner: "He's the hunky guy, right? He's asking you out" But teachers can't date students. No problem, you lost your job as a teacher and he quit as your student.

So the date is on. Romantic, star lit, sealed with not one kiss, but two.

But what about the rest of the guys? Jeff and Hattie concoct a solution that not only brings them back to the fold, but finishes their instruction with some speed manners.

(Drum roll here) Now the dinner. Well, it turns out every clod does indeed have a silver lining. They are so impressive that one of the harassees comes over to their side (the others, not so much). The settlement is approved. As for Hattie? Her entire conviction is expunged.

ACT V: Well, it turns out there is more to Hattie's life. But it can still involve teaching manners, only now to the homeless moving into new housing built by Jeff and his buddies. And for Hattie, even her new engagement ring doesn't get in the way of helping out.

Submitted: November 21, 2020
Last Updated: August 29, 2021

Want to read this script? You must join the revolution first. Don't worry, it's free, easy, everyone's welcome, and you can start reading right away.

This Script Is Loved By 1 Readers

Jim Boston's picture
Daniel Broderick's picture

The Writer: Daniel Broderick

California native. Born in Los Angeles after my parents moved there from Chicago, where my father wrote for television after WWII and college. Have lived in San Fernando Valley, Orange County, Palo Alto, Florence (Italy), Washington, D.C., New Haven (Connecticut), West Los Angeles, Germany, and Sacramento. Currently live in Pasadena, California. Stanford undergrad. Played basketball until hurt my sophomore year, Yale Law School. Non-lawyer jobs include assembling board games, gas station attendant, assembling yachts, picking up trash at the beach, washing dorm windows, maintenance at a golf course, painting the take off boards for the long jump and triple jump (jock job, where I was... Go to bio

More Scripts From Daniel

Oh No, You Pull It
Two siblings, whose mother is on life support, debate who should pull the plug. And yes, this is a comedy.
Short Comedy Under Option 10pp
5 readers love this script
Next Rest Stop, 2.5 Million Light Years
A futuristic update of the good old fashioned family road trip, where the Boffs family heads to the happiest place in the universe in their minivan sized space ship.
Short Comedy, Family, Sci-Fi For sale 16pp
1 reader loves this script
The Baron of Bunker Hill
A sports drama involving a former basketball star trying a come back, a supportive wife who redevelops areas of Los Angeles, and a Ponzi scheme that threatens each one's plans as well as their marriage.
Feature Crime, Drama, Romance, Sport For sale 98pp
1 reader loves this script
Hell Is Not What You Think
A departed soul learns the difference between heaven and hell.
Short Fantasy Available for Free 5pp
1 reader loves this script
The Pigeon Academy
Ever seen a baby pigeon in the park? Probably not, because they're all learning their trade at the world renowned Pigeon Academy in Los Angeles.
Short Animation, Comedy, Family For sale 15pp
1 reader loves this script
Lemon Aid
It's great learning experience for every child to operate a lemonade stand in front of their house, and for the parents who realize too late how much this little enterprise is gonna cost 'em.
Short Comedy, Family For sale 10pp
1 reader loves this script
An Almost Perfect Crime
After a fine art storage facility's unique machine paints undetectable, exact copies of contemporary paintings, stealing the originals is easy. No victim knows a crime has been committed. Until love interferes.
Feature Action, Crime, Romance, Thriller For sale 109pp
1 reader loves this script
The Grass is Always Greener
Jack is unhappy. No girlfriend, money, or status. Sam, the bus driver, thinks things will change. And when they do, is Jack finally happy? Not exactly. There's still something he wants. What is it?
Short Fantasy For sale 9pp
1 reader loves this script
Milton DeMedici, NFT
A trend influencer, dubious about NFT's, wagers she can create a true NFT: a celebrity with No Fucking Talent. She transforms a dentist whose painting hobby reveals no artistic ability, into Milton DeMedici, artiste extraordinaire.
Feature Comedy, Crime, Fantasy For sale 106pp
1 reader loves this script
Bearing Gifts
Hitchcock horror meets Knives Out in this seminar-at-sea mystery, where a female Greek detective investigates the deaths and malignancies plaguing the ship after a beautiful mystery woman was rescued and brought on board.
Feature Horror, Mystery For sale 122pp
1 reader loves this script
My Kingdom for a Kiss
Cinderella story: two teen girls traveling through Europe encounter a prince at a costume ball. Denny, the purveyor of the perfect kiss, entrances him; now he must find her by kissing other American tourists.
Feature Comedy, Romance For sale 92pp
1 reader loves this script
The head of security at ADX, the most secure prison in the country., prompted by a prison reformer, questions her hard line approach, until a two-pronged prison rescue must be thwarted by all available means.
Feature Action For sale 116pp
Prester John, The Infidel Pope
In 1177, Pope Alexander dispatches a priest to Upper Asia to determine the nature and intentions of the self-declared, true Christian Pope, Prester John, but the priest's daughter complicates matters for both.
Feature Action, Adventure, Romance For sale 120pp
Not in This Life
A uniquely animated romance feature film, tracking two souls as Russian Jews in 1840, as Chinese immigrants in 1916, and as Mexican Americans in contemporary Los Angeles.
Feature Animation, History, Romance For sale 86pp
The Darrow Chronicles (Pilot)
In the early days of the 20th Century, unions and business tycoons wage war over the future of labor in America...and attorney Clarence Darrow is caught right in the middle of it.
TV Pilot Crime, Drama, History For sale 63pp
Excuse Me Your Honor
A court clerk guides her judge, bumbling prosecutor, and sardonic public defender on a hilarious journey through the world of jury duty, where everyone uses one outrageous excuse after another to get excused.
TV Pilot Comedy For sale 22pp
Satan's Shrink
After convincing a patient that the devil is not real, who should show up for a consult but Satan herself. It's just not as much fun anymore. Any suggestions doctor?
Short Comedy, Fantasy For sale 11pp
Fantastical Voyage
A political parody where a miniature vehicle enters Biden's body to prevent the Trump Covid variant from wiping out his ability to distinguish truth from falsity, as well as any empathy for others.
Short Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi Available for Free 20pp
Fish Frenzy
Sharknado meets Frankenfish in this disaster/horror send up, involving an overly dedicated, reclusive female Ichthyologist trying to save the residents of Catalina Island, California from a fish apocalypse that she created.
Feature Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller For sale 105pp
In this intense hostage drama, a distraught young widower demands that a rigid, Catholic priest choose two people to die, after his wife died in childbirth rather than have an abortion.
Feature Drama For sale 86pp