The Day Almost Nothing Happened

Teenager Warren gets a date with his dream girl, Allison, by promising her a ride in his timeship.

She gets angry with him when he picks a random date more than 400 years ago rather than sometime “exciting,” like an assassination.

She demands to be taken home. He tells her it’ll take nearly 30 minutes to recharge the solar batteries for the return trip. She angrily heads outside to take some selfies, ignoring her date’s pleas about contaminating the timeline.

In short order, both of them are killed with arrows to their throats by superstitious American Indians who get frightened when the timeship’s computer speaks and they notice a very-much-alive picture of the girl they killed on a screen in her hand.

Flash forward to a far-future classroom where a professor is lecturing his young students on how they should properly worship the woman who has so affected their society. In a glass case by the exit door are Allison’s mummified remains, her long-uncharged iPhone still clutched in her hand.

After paying her proper respect, all the students file from the classroom. They have iPhone-like devices surgically implanted into their left hands and are dressed exactly like Allison did for her date many years ago.