Potty Mouth by Kimberly Britt | Script Revolution

Potty Mouth



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On the brink of receiving a prestigious humanitarian award, a freak accident renders a meek Catholic school teacher incapable of speaking without cursing.

To say that MARY LANE (30s) is a doormat is a gross understatement. Not only does she allow the students at the Catholic school she teaches at to walk all over her, but she refuses to stand up for herself to pretty much everyone she comes in contact with.

Mary is called to the principal’s office one afternoon to discuss a humanitarian award she will be receiving in a few days’ time. SISTER JOSEPHINE (70s), the school principal, seems quite concerned with the award ceremony going off without a hitch, reminding Mary how negatively it will
reflect on the school if it doesn’t.

Feeling the pressure, Mary goes home only to encounter her free-spirited roommate, DAHLIA (30s), who seems to make a game out of exploiting every single one of Mary’s shortcomings. She reminds Mary of a dinner she has to attend at her parents’ home.

Mary shows up for dinner looking like she’d rather have an unmedicated root canal. Perched on a recliner with bible in hand, is her father, WILLIAM (60s). William would like nothing more than to have Mary join the convent. Her mother, CLAIRE (60s), on the other hand, dreams of a fairytale wedding followed closely by copious amounts of grandchildren and therefore is constantly fixing Mary up with “respectable young men”.

Mary is forced to endure Claire’s newest prospective son-in-law, FRANK (30s), over dinner. Having endured a painfully awkward dinner, Mary assumes she is off the hook, that is until Frank insists on seeing her again.

After work the next day, Mary is sent on a church errand. There she runs into FATHER BRYANT (50s), a kind but slightly scatter-brained priest. Before Mary can protest, Father Bryant has her overseeing the delivery of a brand new 500 pound crucifix.

While one delivery guy goes back to the truck to get some bolts, the other, RILEY (30s), ridiculously handsome, stays to taunt Mary. Flustered from the encounter, Mary knocks over a tray of holy water then slips it in, sending the crucifix down on top of her. Lights out for Mary.

Mary comes to in the hospital and learns that she survived a very serious head injury with no brain damage. However, the second she opens her mouth, it is glaringly obvious she has suffered one, teeny, tiny side effect; she can’t stop dropping f-bombs.

Before long, Mary seems like a new person. During a curse-filled tirade, she sends Frank packing and develops a kinship with Riley. Riley and Dahlia take Mary home from the hospital and hatch a plan to cure her of her affliction in time for her humanitarian award acceptance speech.

Despite their best efforts, Mary seems doomed to forever have the vocabulary of a sailor. On the verge of giving up, Mary has a breakthrough that helps her make sense of her life, her future goals and most importantly, puts an end to her newfound talent.

Submitted: September 13, 2017
Last Updated: September 13, 2017

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Kimberly Britt's picture

The Writer: Kimberly Britt

I am a produced writer that has written 29 feature length screenplays and 4 shorts. I have placed in several contests, most recently a quarterfinalist in the 2012, 2015 and 2016 Nicholl Fellowships, quarterfinalist 2014 ScreenCraft Horror, quarterfinalist 2014 StoryPros, quarterfinalist 2016 and 2018 PAGE, quarterfinalist 2016 Scriptapalooza, finalist 2018 Screencraft Horror, and second rounder 2018 Austin Film Festival Screenplay Competition. Go to bio

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