Synopsis/Details
Kevin ‘The Talking Pig’ is a fixture on the late-late entertainment shows. Pecking away at a modified Court Stenographer’s keyboard connected to a speaker, the small pig cracks jokes and comedic commentary alongside his ‘manager’, Marvin (a past-his-prime show biz veteran hanging on by his fingernails).
Finally… FINALLY, Kevin and Marvin get the call to fill a slot on the BIG SHOW… ‘Late Night with Jimmy’! But, wouldn’t you know it, Marvin’s streak of bad luck continues: Kevin is front and center when the infamous Ivankov family enforcers show up to collect a debt owed by the famous TV host. Jimmy is murdered and Kevin is the sole surviving witness!
The cops are no fools. They know a ‘Talking Pig’ is not a real ‘witness’, but maybe… just maybe… the idiots who work for Ivankov are dumb enough to try assassinating the pig, thus opening up the larger investigation into the violent mobster’s criminal empire.
The top cop’s strategy? Assign the absolute worst agent in the Witness Protection Program to babysit the pig. What’s the worst that could happen? Ivankov assassins murder the pig and his manager right in front of the recording cameras of a hidden surveillance team?
But the Task Force brass have underestimated the ‘walking disaster’ they assigned: U.S. Marshal Rex Cannoli. ‘God protects drunks and fools’ might as well be tattooed across Rex’s chest. Even though he’s a living billboard of the Seven Deadly Sins, Rex has made a career out of ‘failing up’ and somehow, after repeatedly stumbling headfirst into epic sized dung piles, comes up smelling like Axe Body Spray.
A comedic mishap at the Witness Protection hotel leads Rex to bring Kevin and Marvin back to his family home… just in time for Thanksgiving dinner! If you thought Rex was a poster child for Murphy’s Law, you just wait until you meet the rest of the Cannoli family!
After the most dysfunctional Thanksgiving meal you’ve ever seen, Kevin and Marvin are kidnapped and taken back to the Ivankov mob boss’ palatial estate.
Resigned to single-handedly save Kevin’s bacon, Rex sneaks onto the estate, fighting his way past mob henchmen, launching into an epic martial arts battle with a stranger who turns out to be a long lost relative, and ultimately saving the day.
Advanced
Time Period:
Contemporary times
