Turf Wars by Fiona Faith Ross | Script Revolution

Turf Wars



Page Count: 



Age Rating:

An elderly widower and a school drop-out fight over the man's lawn only to find comfort and companionship in an unexpected way.

Lonely widower Bill takes pride in having the perfect prize-winning lawn, only to have young hoodlum Darren ruin it by riding his pedal bike over it, until Bill takes revenge. Full-on war turns smooth velvet into muddy battlefield, until Bill has a brainwave of a compromise.

This Script Has Been Reviewed By Shootin' The Shorts

Turf Wars
A grieving elderly widower and a misunderstood school drop-out fight over the man's lawn only to find new comfort and companionship in an unexpected way.

Author Fiona Faith Rose brings us Turf Wars, a comedy not only packed with outstanding visual humour, but moments of tenderness as well.

We open on old man Bill Henning, casting a rheumy eye over the pride and joy that is his front lawn. A lawn that initially appears perfect. But upon closer inspection, we find the thin tire tracks of a bike scored into the soil.

Upon finding the marks, Bill grunts his displeasure and returns to painstaking work with a pair of shears in hand. Only to be soon interrupted by the perpetrator and his two wheeled weapon of choice, teenager Darren - who speeds past the old man and traces further marks across Bill’s beloved grass.

Enough is enough! Bill hatches a plan.

Bill casts his eye over his perfect velvet lawn, diagonally scarred by thin tyre-tracks. He grunts, wipes his nose on his sleeve, then lines up his long-handled shears on a wire he has stretched between two stakes to guide his edge...

...and trims the straggly grass to a neat fringe.

Behind him, an old but deadly pedal bike shoots in from left field and traces the tyre-tracks...

...ridden by scruffy DARREN (15), buzz-cut school dropout.

Bill shakes his fist at the boy’s disappearing back.


Eat-my-shit laughter reaches him on the slip stream.

Bill tenses, angry-gorilla-style, then narrows his eyes, rubs his chin.

Bill strikes back at his teenage oppressor, but Darren won’t let it lie either.  Escalating quickly into a comedic tit for tat battle between the two.

In lesser hands, this short could descent into a farcical conflict between the ages, but Rose has created a work of greater depth. The true meaning of the lawn for Bill is soon revealed. But will he be able to save it from Darren, and will the two be able to find some kind of truce to stop a seemingly inevitable war?

At just four pages, Turf Wars is an easy read; but one that leaves both an emotional and comedic impact on the reader. As visual comedy and carnage abound, it is undeniably a funny short, a story just waiting for the right producer to come along and bring life to this emotion laden chaotic gem.


Review by Cam Gray

Want to read this script? You must join the revolution first. Don't worry, it's free, easy, everyone's welcome, and you can start reading right away.

This Script Is Loved By

Cam Gray's picture
Kevin Xaverius's picture
Fiona Faith Ross's picture
Gold Star

The Writer: Fiona Faith Ross

News: FLAT SQUIRREL the screenplay, is selected for Florida Comedy Film Festival, 2020 and wins the Silver Award, Family Film Category, Hollywood Screenplay Contest, 2018. Woo hoo! FLAT SQUIRREL The Novel, IS OUT!!! You'll find it in Amazon Books, iStore and the Troubador Book Store (Matador Books), paperback. The Ebook is on Kindle, iTunes and all online book stores. I write MG/YA/Coming of Age Animation, and Supernatural Thrillers. So far completed in 2018 , a blockbuster rom-com spec, and a supernatural horror feature. Currently working on FLAT SQUIRREL 2 and supernatural horror sequel. Projects completed in 2017 include FLAT SQUIRREL, Animation feature spec script and novel. In 2016, I... Go to bio

Fiona Faith Is A Rockstar Member Of Script Revolution

That means Fiona Faith helps keep the site running by contributing at least $5 a month via our Patreon Campaign. The site you are using right now is here partly because of their kind generosity.

More Scripts From Fiona Faith

Flat Squirrel
A stranded flying squirrel gets mixed up with junk-food obsessed forest animals who annoy the meanest ever junk-food junkie, and prevent him going home.
Feature Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Family For sale 99pp
4 readers love this script
A balding wereteen wins a slot in a music contest, and battles his helicopter parents and a rival band to become a rock star. With hair.
Feature Family, Fantasy For sale 98pp
3 readers love this script
Elephant In The Room
Why is there an elephant in the motel room? Two housekeepers must find out before the bitch boss discovers it, or lose their jobs.
Short Comedy, Drama, Romance For sale 13pp
Clear Win
A young man and a young woman battle over the last bottle of vodka. Pride is at stake on both sides, but is there a greater win to be had?
Short Comedy, Drama Available for Free 4pp
2 readers love this script
"Footie" Night
A young woman in a controlling relationship rebels when her partner pushes her too far.
Short Comedy, Drama Available for Free 3pp
1 reader loves this script
Spaced Out
When two women compete for the last space in the grocery store car park, the peculiar madness that grips humans behind the wheel escalates into a full territorial battle.
Short Comedy Available for Free 3pp
Lock The Door
When intruders threaten their lives, a mother and son argue how to defend themselves, until circumstances force them to fight for survival.
Short Crime, Drama, Mystery Available for Free 3pp
After a disabled little girl launches a battle of wills against her dad to buy her a puppy, which he absolutely refuses, circumstances allow them to compromise.
Short Drama, Family Available for Free 3pp