DR: "...so now they'd be neon... instead of everything else. :/..."
Brought back memories... of what I keep in a drawer very nearby!
I have a full size transparent flourescent red .44 MAGNUM water pistol, purchased from a flea market I think. One of proudest possessions, I've painted it opaque black and keep it for home protection purposes. There's a little spindle thingee at the end of the barrel, that you can turn so that the water stream goes left or right - almost "around a corner", ha! I've even perfected the "lift", so that when I raise it to eye level, against some perceived enemy, I'll arc my wrist as if I'm wielding a 20-ounce weight. Ya' gotta be sneaky if you're going to try to fool home invaders with a water pistol. ;)
Congratulations, Surina! It looks like they do some nice promotion of winners on the site. Do they usually announce the monthly contests the first week.of each month?
@Kaye Koddy the theme is announced on the 4th of every month. 24 hours submissions close. The winners are normally announced by the announced by the 8th. It's a fun challenge.
I got a "Consider" from The Script Lab on my 2nd draft of Stranded. Not the perfect score, but not something to complain about, especially for only a 2nd draft.
There were 3 minor suggestions and one pretty major. I don't think I'm ready to tackle the major suggestion, and TBH, I'm not sure it would work.
He suggested a couple of dialogue changes and to add a bit more to one section. Those were easy. The hard one.. He suggested trying it without dialogue altogether. While possible, I think it would be daunting and it's a little more than I'm willing to try, at least for now. There's not much dialogue as it is, so I understand why he said it. I actually did consider it when I was writing. Most scenes are solo scenes, adn there are only 2 verbal exchanges between characters. Maybe I'll do it, maybe I won't.
Excerpts from the notes:
This is a visually rich script with deep meditations about anger, guilt, and punishment. The script bravely defies the classic screenplay writing advice of choosing a protagonist, giving them an obstacle, and letting the story unfold. Instead of that, the writer chooses to take us through a primeval emotion of jealousy and anger. John finds his obstacle in the end but to his agony it is insurmountable. He must suffer for eternity with the punishment.
"Stranded" evokes such bleak images from the very first page that one can sense it is going to be an engaging read. At just over 10 pages the writer does not disappoint even a bit, not a single word is wasted. Despite moving at an apparently slow pace the story keeps the tension at maximum. The oft-quoted expression ‘hauntingly beautiful’ comes to mind while going through this neat piece of work.
Kevin: I read the coverage (NOTE: when you click on the link to the script - it instead goes to the coverage report rather than the script). Anyway - the reason I went to look at it because the note about writing it without dialogue seemed silly to me. I think want the reviewer is really saying is that the dialogue you wrote didn't quite land for them in a particular scene (s). To me, that note could have just as easily been evaluate your dialogue (i.e., rather than eliminating it).
Thanks for the heads up, I'll fix the link. (Edit: It works fine for me)
I didn't include all the notes, but he did specifically suggest trying without any dialogue:
"Instead of the dialogues, the writer in the next draft may focus on the use of soundscape to evoke emotions of dread in us. A cliched example is the sound of the clock clicking when John enters the house. After he shoots Dan maybe the bullet ricochets and shatter the TV also, and the only sound that can be heard in its aftermath is that of clicking clock. It appears that the script can say more without the use of dialogues."
just heard that Mark Hensley’s stylish production of my 3-page short won two awards at the Redwood Film Festival! – Hayley McLaughlin won best actress and ... i won best screenwriter
i want to thank Mark for selecting my little “dramatic sketch” and investing his time and creativity into it – it looks really cool and (as they say) these awards just as much his as Hayley’s and mine
One of my scripts made the Coverfly Red List! New writer so not really sure what that means but it seems positive (and such a reassuring way to start the year.)
Awesome, Lucy! Definitely a great start to 2022! Take this opportunity to promote that script even more on this platform by giving us the name and genre. You never know who's lurking here...
Coverfly has an intricate and somewhat complicated mathematical formula it uses to compute scores, so it's definitely a "win" to celebrate.
I just found out that my short drama "Echoes of Broken Promises" was a finalist in the Chicago Screenplay Awards. It was an early draft that I basically entered for the free feedback, so this is a nice surprise!
Lots of good winning going on here, folks! My only screenwriting success lately was making the semifinals in the ISA Action & Adventure contest. I also signed a book contract with an wonderful indie publisher for my literary fiction novel, but I can't announce any details until Fall probably. Scheduled for a Feb '23 release, but if I can get through the editing process faster perhaps sooner. I was hoping to be doing that tonight, but I can't stop sneezing:) Maybe I'll just spend more time contemplating my development editing feedback...
You're making progress, Julian! That's all that counts. And you've been writing, that I know, so keep up the pace. You have more going on than what you mention here, and I'm excited to hear more as it develops. You have some great work, and it deserves all the attention. Peace, brother!
A. S. - Awesome! I saw that Thingamajigs also made the Quarterfinals of BlueCat. My feature drama Team Emma also made the BlueCat QF. Fingers crossed for both of us next week when they announce the Semifinalists!
Lily - Gonna have to pass on black satin, but my parents did buy these (or similar) for me and my bros in the '80s:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99UPQEFSGVQ
Then a few US kids got mistakenly shot by police officers so now they'd be neon... instead of everything else. :/
Well I was thinking more like a prop but toy sounds more affordable. Cut me some slack, I'm working with an indie budget here.
DR: "...so now they'd be neon... instead of everything else. :/..."
Brought back memories... of what I keep in a drawer very nearby!
I have a full size transparent flourescent red .44 MAGNUM water pistol, purchased from a flea market I think. One of proudest possessions, I've painted it opaque black and keep it for home protection purposes. There's a little spindle thingee at the end of the barrel, that you can turn so that the water stream goes left or right - almost "around a corner", ha! I've even perfected the "lift", so that when I raise it to eye level, against some perceived enemy, I'll arc my wrist as if I'm wielding a 20-ounce weight. Ya' gotta be sneaky if you're going to try to fool home invaders with a water pistol. ;)
Steve - Ya, the super soaker 50 probably ain't striking fear in the criminal mind. LOL
I gave Gary a call out about the audio.
Black satin dressers, machine guns and rabbits masks. You look away for a minute and the world changes.
Won Filmcon 24 hour screenplay challenge Special Jury Award September and October.
Congrats Surina.
Thank you, CJ Walley. The theme was challenging, so I was surprised when I was selected.
Very nice - congrats!
Congratulations, Surina! It looks like they do some nice promotion of winners on the site. Do they usually announce the monthly contests the first week.of each month?
Thank you David Lambertson
@Kaye Koddy the theme is announced on the 4th of every month. 24 hours submissions close. The winners are normally announced by the announced by the 8th. It's a fun challenge.
I got a "Consider" from The Script Lab on my 2nd draft of Stranded. Not the perfect score, but not something to complain about, especially for only a 2nd draft.
There were 3 minor suggestions and one pretty major. I don't think I'm ready to tackle the major suggestion, and TBH, I'm not sure it would work.
He suggested a couple of dialogue changes and to add a bit more to one section. Those were easy. The hard one.. He suggested trying it without dialogue altogether. While possible, I think it would be daunting and it's a little more than I'm willing to try, at least for now. There's not much dialogue as it is, so I understand why he said it. I actually did consider it when I was writing. Most scenes are solo scenes, adn there are only 2 verbal exchanges between characters. Maybe I'll do it, maybe I won't.
Excerpts from the notes:
This is a visually rich script with deep meditations about anger, guilt, and punishment. The script bravely defies the classic screenplay writing advice of choosing a protagonist, giving them an obstacle, and letting the story unfold. Instead of that, the writer chooses to take us through a primeval emotion of jealousy and anger. John finds his obstacle in the end but to his agony it is insurmountable. He must suffer for eternity with the punishment.
"Stranded" evokes such bleak images from the very first page that one can sense it is going to be an engaging read. At just over 10 pages the writer does not disappoint even a bit, not a single word is wasted. Despite moving at an apparently slow pace the story keeps the tension at maximum. The oft-quoted expression ‘hauntingly beautiful’ comes to mind while going through this neat piece of work.
Kevin: I read the coverage (NOTE: when you click on the link to the script - it instead goes to the coverage report rather than the script). Anyway - the reason I went to look at it because the note about writing it without dialogue seemed silly to me. I think want the reviewer is really saying is that the dialogue you wrote didn't quite land for them in a particular scene (s). To me, that note could have just as easily been evaluate your dialogue (i.e., rather than eliminating it).
Thanks for the heads up, I'll fix the link. (Edit: It works fine for me)
I didn't include all the notes, but he did specifically suggest trying without any dialogue:
"Instead of the dialogues, the writer in the next draft may focus on the use of soundscape to evoke emotions of dread in us. A cliched example is the sound of the clock clicking when John enters the house. After he shoots Dan maybe the bullet ricochets and shatter the TV also, and the only sound that can be heard in its aftermath is that of clicking clock. It appears that the script can say more without the use of dialogues."
just heard that Mark Hensley’s stylish production of my 3-page short won two awards at the Redwood Film Festival! – Hayley McLaughlin won best actress and ... i won best screenwriter
i want to thank Mark for selecting my little “dramatic sketch” and investing his time and creativity into it – it looks really cool and (as they say) these awards just as much his as Hayley’s and mine
Robert, that's exciting! What a nice "win" to end the year! Wishing you continued success.
Nice, Robert! Can't go wrong by winning!
One of my scripts made the Coverfly Red List! New writer so not really sure what that means but it seems positive (and such a reassuring way to start the year.)
That might get you a read or two from their industry execs. Congrats!
Awesome, Lucy! Definitely a great start to 2022! Take this opportunity to promote that script even more on this platform by giving us the name and genre. You never know who's lurking here...
Coverfly has an intricate and somewhat complicated mathematical formula it uses to compute scores, so it's definitely a "win" to celebrate.
Congrats Lucy!
Eric - I hear if that does happen it goes on the Coverfly Read List. ba dum tish.
Congrats on all your recent successes guys.
Nice job, Lucy!
I just found out that my short drama "Echoes of Broken Promises" was a finalist in the Chicago Screenplay Awards. It was an early draft that I basically entered for the free feedback, so this is a nice surprise!
Nice going, Andrea!
Congratulations! Unexpected successes are the best kind.
Lots of good winning going on here, folks! My only screenwriting success lately was making the semifinals in the ISA Action & Adventure contest. I also signed a book contract with an wonderful indie publisher for my literary fiction novel, but I can't announce any details until Fall probably. Scheduled for a Feb '23 release, but if I can get through the editing process faster perhaps sooner. I was hoping to be doing that tonight, but I can't stop sneezing:) Maybe I'll just spend more time contemplating my development editing feedback...
You're making progress, Julian! That's all that counts. And you've been writing, that I know, so keep up the pace. You have more going on than what you mention here, and I'm excited to hear more as it develops. You have some great work, and it deserves all the attention. Peace, brother!
Thanks for the kind words, man! So happy for your success too.
A. S. - Awesome! I saw that Thingamajigs also made the Quarterfinals of BlueCat. My feature drama Team Emma also made the BlueCat QF. Fingers crossed for both of us next week when they announce the Semifinalists!
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