Shootin' The Shorts | Page 3 | Script Revolution

Shootin' The Shorts

Shootin' The Shorts is run by J.E. Clarke a longtime prolific screenwriter who loves to give others a little boost in the marketplace by highlighting why she believes their short script may stand out. She brings with her a loyal band of readers who share the same compassionate attitude who have joined her cause as it's grown and grown to connect writers with filmmakers on a monthly basis. Now it finds a home here on Script Revolution.

This is all about highlighting what makes a script great by focusing on the positives. You'll find no negative criticism or lists of issues here. Submitting a short script for consideration couldn't be easier, simply scroll down to the bottom of your script edit page and tick the "Submit to Shootin' The Shorts" checkbox. Please note; it takes time to get through all submissions, everything is subjective, and we're by no means saying these are the best short scripts on Script Revolution, they are simply the ones that have found an admirer within this section - CJ

Tipsy - Think you're off balance NOW?

Tipsy
A bartender pours for his life.

Prepared for a fun and quirky little thriller short?  Then belly up to the counter, pour yourself a drink and sit right down!

In J. Phillip Wilkins’ Tipsy, we open on a dive bar in Chicago’s east side. Inside those dark and dingy walls, one Bartender is about to have a day he'll never forget. (No matter how many shots he downs.)

Enter a Man on a mission - to buy a drink. At least, that’s what it looks like at first.

Almost instantly annoying, the Man pesters the Bartender with bizarre banter. All too used to the lunatics of Chicago, the Bartender at first puts up (albeit in a sarcastic way) with his new customer’s odd requests.

MAN
I've made up my mind. 
I'll have a drink that fits my name.

BARTENDER
Will that be a douche on the rocks, or straight up?

MAN
What? Oh... oooooohhhhhh, I get it. Yes, very funny.
But what I meant was, I would like the drink that fits my name.
You see, my name is the same as a certain refreshing cocktail.

The bartender looks at a point just over the man's shoulder.

BARTENDER
Listen buddy, I just want to do my job and get
the hell out of here with as little aggravation as possible.
Capiche?

MAN
I understand, but if you don't at least attempt a guess,
I will have to set off my bomb.

Woah! Asking for a drink is commonplace. But a bomb?!? With those words, the Bartender’s already aggravating day takes an alarming turn for the worse.

The man opens his jacket to reveal a vest of dynamite sticks, all linked by yellow and green wires. He pulls his left hand out of his pocket and shows the bartender a detonator, his thumb poised over a red button.

MAN
Just a little pressure and... BOOM!

The bartender looks like he has just wet his pants.

MAN
Now, if you could just guess the name of my drink, I can be on my way.

BARTENDER
Shit, mister. I don't know... uh, Harvey Wallbanger?

Nope. Wrong again. Maybe this was the wrong customer to mouth off at? Now the clock – and bomb – is ticking. Ever more urgently pressured by the Man to guess his name, the poor Bartender throws out every drink title he can think of; grasping at figurative straws (not the swizzle stick kind!)

Only four pages long. One location. Tipsy is a terrifically easy short to shoot. Will this story end with a bang? You’ll have to read it to find out.

 

 

 

The Script

Tipsy

A bartender pours for his life.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

J. Phillip Wilkins's picture
Real name: 

J. Phillip Wilkins is a composer and the author of several unfinished books, including 'Desert Witch', 'The Girl From Yuma', 'Laughter, Far Away', and 'Lighthouse At The World's End'. His tenure as one-third of indie pop outfit The Postmarks was followed by a move to the West Coast demimonde....Read more

Hard Up Secret Agent - He Doesn't Always Get the Girls!

Hard-Up Secret Agent
A dashing secret agent lets his arch-nemesis and his hench-woman in on a little secret:
he just can't score babes.

We all love James Bond. With his suave, sophisticated mannerisms and impeccable timing, he’s simply sexy - and it sells. But move over James, there’s a new super spy in town!  And this one comes with a hearty dose of realism…

Meet Agent Hawk: he received the best education, works for the government and – as Steve Cleary's Secret Agent opens - finds himself trapped in the lair of super villain Volkov. Sounds pretty familiar, doesn’t it?

For Volkov, all is going to plan. He’s about to take Hawk out by some convoluted means of torture. Though something isn’t sitting quite right. But with the assistance of evil hench-woman Natalia, Volkov vows to hammer such petty details out!

A machine with a spinning blade enters and inches toward the secret agent.

AGENT HAWK
Luxury cars?
I’m a government employee for God’s sake!
I drive a Hyundai.

VOLKOV
How unfortunate.
Well, at least you had the beautiful women.

AGENT HAWK
Pfft!
The last date I had was with the cashier at the Stop and Shop.
She wouldn’t even let me get to second base!

VOLKOV
What?
Surely you’ve had some measure of success
with the fairer sex, no?

AGENT HAWK
No. Not really.
Girls just aren’t into me, I guess.
I think it’s my nose.

VOLKOV
Your nose? Nah, your nose is fine.
Give yourself more credit!

AGENT HAWK
Bah.

Volkov looks off screen.

VOLKOV
Natalia, shut that off a moment and come out here.

The machine pauses and the powers down. His henchwoman, stunning NATALIA, enters. Hawk smiles goofily.

NATALIA
Yes boss, what is your bidding?

VOLKOV
Look at this man.
Do you see anything wrong with his nose?

Agent Hawk may be in the same profession as Mr. Bond, but he apparently lacks any of 007’s financial or relationship success. Together, the trio attempt to figure out the source of Hawk’s… dysfunction.  All the while machinery of destruction stares Hawk in the face.

Even if he can escape, is an unfulfilled, loveless life worth it anyway?

A great little comedy short, Hard Up Secret Agent boasts both an affordable budget and minimal page count… just enough to humorously turn James Bond on his well-coiffed head.  Just one location and small cast required.  It doesn’t take a super-spy to know that’s an (evil genius) scheme to get audiences laughing… even with the whole world at stake!

 

 

The Script

The Secret Agent's Secret

A dashing secret agent lets his arch-nemesis and his hench-woman in on a little secret: he just can't score babes.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Steve Cleary's picture
Real name: 

Hi. I write screenplays for movies that I myself would pay good money to see in a theater -- "event movies", where friends gather to make a night of it, load up on popcorn and Milk Duds, and perhaps have dinner and/or drinks afterward.
.
Shorts and Sketches listed here as "Available...Read more

Slangalator - That's a Cool 10-4!

THE SLANGALATOR
When you just don't understand, get the Slangalator.

Ever find yourself watching one of those law enforcement procedurals or one of the forty-seven thousand TV shows about Navy SEALs? And despite trying hard to follow the story, you’re constantly distracted by phrases and acronyms, used to showcase how authentic the show strives to be.

Problem is, unless you actually participated in B.U.D.S (see what I did there?) and graduated from Quantico (yep, did it again), then you don’t have a damn clue what they’re talking about.

Apparently, you’re not alone.

Slangalator, by Ian. J Courter is a wickedly-fun and satirical faux commercial, marketing the benefits of the ‘Slangalator’: a Rosetta Stone-esque app used to help translate military jargon back into human tongue.

WIFE prepares food as Husband walks in.

HUSBAND
Hey, babe. I’m gettin’ with the C-O about my T-D-Y.
Be back about fourteen-hundred.           

Wife looks at camera in despair.

WIFE
I don’t understand him anymore.
Can someone please help?!?

ANNOUNCER (VO)
If you’re a military spouse, you know how
frustrating these conversations can be.
Now that frustration is a thing of the past with…
the Slangulator.

A hand model displays a smartphone as the ANNOUNCER talks.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
This revolutionary application software translates
militarese into English. Compatible with any smartphone,
it’s so easy to use, you’ll never want to be without it.

In the vein of SNL-esque infomercials, the Slangulator dives deep into all the hilarious ways software this ingenious can be applied to everyday life. Not only will you miraculously understand what GI Joe and his pals are talking about, but you can join in as well.

But, it’s worth noting your participation in the parochial buzz-phrase-a-thon may not be so welcome!

HUSBAND
…Smitty just left the TOC (tock)
when a R-P-G hit the DFAC (dee-fac).
the Jawa normally move like pond water,
but he dee-dee-mao’d the A-O so fast,
I thought he was goin’ Elvis on us.

Wife has a puzzled expression as she looks at her smartphone. Then, she smiles and MECHANICALLY reads…

WIFE
Hooah! That’s ate-up like a soup sandwich.
Sounds like Smitty’s a real fob-goblin.

The guys look at her with a mix of alarm and irritation.

A tasty morsel of mordant amusement, Slangulator smartly satirizes our societal penchant for idiomatic tribalism, one that spans multiple cultures and careers.  As a human habit, it’s one immensely hard to override: it’s just who we are, right?

Or, as our friends in the armed forces would opine: SNAFU… Everything Normal. All Fucked Up.

If you’re a filmmaker who enjoys sardonic storytelling, don’t hesitate to incorporate Slangulator into your “dialogue”. Act ASAP. Or your chances will forever be FUBAR’d. Shoot, you may even earn yourself some Chest Candy (dammit, I did it again), with a tale that’s so A1!

 

The Script

The Slangalator

When you just don't understand, get the slangalator.

About The Reviewer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

About The Writer

Ian J. Courter's picture
Real name: 

I have been a technical writer for nearly fifteen years and published two academic articles, but my true desire has been screenwriting. So far, I have written fifteen shorts and seven feature-length scripts. I draw inspiration from a wide range of sources to include: - Graduate degree in...Read more

Grandma Z - The Best Grandparents NEVER Die....

Grandma-Z
A couple of stoners must use a Ouija Board to summon the spirit of their
dead grandmother in order to locate her medical marijuana stash,
or else spend the entire wake unstoned.

Irreverent grandparents are always a guaranteed laugh on film. But in Grandma-Z, writer Craig Thomas brings us even more: a comedy/horror featuring a badass grandparent that can still wreak hell on earth - even after she passes on.

As the script opens, meet Carlos and Mo: two stoners who realize their biggest fear at their Grandmother’s wake. Even worse than losing beloved Nana… they’ve run out of weed!

All seems lost, until Mo remembers his Grandmother’s medical quirks and cures. Through the use of a Ouija Board, they reach out to their dearly missed relative to help them locate her stash:

A room full of mourners. To one side is an open casket. Inside is GRANDMA. Very much dead.

Beside it stands MO (20s) and CARLOS (20s).

CARLOS
Remember how everyone said she's outlive us both?
Well, I was dead that one time, but that was only for a little bit.
Still, this sucks.

MO
Oh man.

CARLOS
I know.

MO
How could this happen?

CARLOS
She was old and angry.
Her heart finally just popped.
Like a wrinkly balloon left in the sun.

MO
What?
(realizing)
Oh, not that. We're out of weed.

Carlos looks at the empty baggie in Mo's hand. He’d been slyly preparing a spliff on the edge of the casket… but now:

CARLOS
WHY GOD, WHY?!

HOWARD and STELLA watch from across the room.

STELLA
They must have been really close.

MO
Wait, didn't grandma have glaucoma?

CARLOS
I think so. Why?

Mo smiles across from Carlos. Slow realization spreads across his face.

Flash forward to the Oujia Board.

Before one can conjure Cheech and Chong, Grandma is successfully reached from beyond - and her precious weed found.  

But on returning to the wake, these two loveable stoners - and the rest of the mourners - encounter a turn of events no-one could predict.
Cue Grandma: rising from her open casket with a grisly case of the munchies, hell bent on reclaiming what’s hers.

With witty dialogue and comedic storyline that keeps the reader hooked, Grandma-Z is a gem of a screenplay; one that serves up horror with a smile. Any indie fan can testify: stoner humor’s always a hit when done right. Splice in some Cryptkeeper yucks, and this is one little script you should bring to life!

 

The Script

Grandma-Z

A couple of stoners must use a Ouija Board to summon the spirit of their dead grandmother in order to locate her mredical marijuana stash, or else spend the entire wake unstoned.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Craig Thomas's picture
Real name: 

Craig Thomas is a UK-based screenwriter. Having written a number of short films, which are currently in various stages of production, is currently preparing a number of spec scripts and original features for a summer of competitions.

Has also worked on the web-series Flat 666, which is...Read more

Conviction - Good Deeds Never Go Unpunished...

Conviction
An unsuspecting woman is about to make a life-changing decision.

Writers Barry Katz and Tony Piccolo bring you Conviction, a brilliant little short with a nasty little twist.

As most effective horrors do, Conviction opens innocently enough:

In a mall parking lot, a woman approaches her car. As shoppers are wont to do, she tucks her bags in the trunk and enters her vehicle, key in hand. Nothing out of the ordinary to report – until she spots an old lady sitting patiently in her back seat.

Panicked, the woman flies from her car, assessing her uninvited passenger with a wary eye.

Frail and unassuming, the old lady pleads with our heroine to drive her home. But something seems terribly wrong. When she left, the car was locked – so something in this scenario seems… off.

EXT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

The woman slams the door, places her hand over her heart. She tries to regain her breath as her mind swirls. Her fear turns to confusion.

From a safe distance, the woman peeks into the car to get a better look at the uninvited passenger. Her defenses lower slightly as she realizes it's a frail old lady. She cautiously opens the door, bends down to communicate.

WOMAN
Miss?

The old lady says nothing.

WOMAN
How did you get in my car? I know for a fact I locked it.

The old lady slowly turns her head to face the woman.

OLD LADY
Would you be a dear and give me a ride?

The woman furrows her brows.

WOMAN
I don't even know you.
And you didn't answer my question. How did you --

OLD LADY
(through pleading eyes)
Please, dear. I have an emergency.
It's only five minutes away.

The woman looks at her watch, grapples with the dilemma.

WOMAN
Uh...

OLD LADY
Oh, please.
It's the season of giving.
I have nobody.

The woman appears defeated. She sighs.

The woman struggles with the situation. Alzheimer’s issues aside, who is this person really? And what on earth is she doing in her back seat? About to give into the old lady’s request, the woman encounters a police officer. The plot – as they say - thickens from there.

At only four pages long, Conviction checks two horror “musts”. It’s an easy-breezy read. And an effective story with a twist.

If you’re looking for a short screenplay with big impact, Conviction is a strong contender for your next film. And if you like to play with audience minds, the “sentence” is sure to be worth your crime.

 

 

The Script

Conviction

An unsuspecting woman is about to make a life-changing decision.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Barry Katz's picture
Real name: 

I have enjoyed creative writing from as far back as I can remember. It's the one talent in life I can truly say I have. While I don't currently make my living as a screenwriter, it is certainly something I aspire to do. For now, I enjoy the art of making art and most of all, I enjoy...Read more

Virtually Fine - Objects in Your Visor May Appear Different Than They Are...

Virtually Fine
In the future, an experimental device can change anyone's worldview. But at what cost?

In Gil Saint’s darkly acerbic short screenplay, Virtually Fine, the future is anything but A-Okay. It’s a nightmarish, dystopian hellscape that makes the ruthless wastelands of Mad Max and the melancholic metropolis of Blade Runner come across as positively Rockwellian by comparison.

Meet Miller, a dorky, asthma-inhaling citizen of a world filled with hooded mutants, lizard women and destitute humans desperate for help of any kind. For theirs is a world on the brink of collapse. Both figuratively and literally.

Miller lives with his seclusive, and despondent wife Jeannie in a dreary apartment building. While Miller may be unhappy with their circumstances, he still desires to be connected to his wife. But all she seems interested in doing is watching the soul-crushing news via her ‘Eye Implants’. And on this particular day, the news is about as bleak as a black hole.

A floating holographic image of CNN hangs between them at the table. Miller moves his food around, trying to ignore the audible headlines of the day, as read by a DISTORTED NEWS VOICE.

DISTORTED NEWS VOICE (V.O.)
Panic as the Emperor-Elect tweeted out a surrender
of Earth today to an intergalactic militia force from
the Qaxar System.  We should expect an invasion by Friday.
Hashtag, HELP!

As Miller winces the story away, and tries to make eye contact with Jeanie to no avail, we hear his voice...

MILLER (V.O.)
I don’t recognize my life.

Despondent and forlorn, Miller meets with a shrink to vent his worries.

Unsurprisingly, the therapist is of the virtual variety, and therefore is about as empathetic as a Speak & Spell. Instead of actually providing advice or even a smidge of compassion, the shrink encourages Miller to try a new form of therapy. A radical treatment, that doesn’t so much help the patient cope with reality, but rather changes their reality all together.

VIRTUAL SHRINK
Loading! (normalizing now; unbuffers) I understand. 
Have you given any further thought to my offer?

MILLER
I’ve tried V.R.

VIRTUAL SHRINK
Not like this you haven’t. 
It’s an experimental new system.
And the best part is, it gets results. 
My colleagues tell me it’ll replace
chemical anti-depressants within the year.

MILLER
At least the pills taste good. Like strawberry milk.

VIRTUAL SHRINK
What if your whole life could taste as good as those pills?
What if-
(buffers again)
Loading!
(a moment; un-buffers)
--if you had the chance to be happy again? 

Miller takes a hit off his inhaler, mulling it over.

VIRTUAL SHRINK 
It won’t feel virtual.  It’ll feel real.

Perhaps, too real. Not only does this new experimental treatment alter Miller’s perception of the world around him, but entirely transmogrifies reality into something freakishly distorted. A perversion of palpability that transforms his gloomy existence into something grotesquely cheerful. Preventing Miller from comprehending what’s really going on around him, and the real corporeal consequences therein.

Gil Saint’s twisted tale of a dismal dystopia will leave you feeling breathless. For filmmakers influenced by psychological movies that are ominous, caustic, and disturbing, this is the perfect script for you. This can also be a compelling vehicle for experimenting and exhibiting your burgeoning expertise in VFX.

Don’t miss out on this story. It’s a virtual gem that’ll leave your audience feeling anything but fine.

 

The Script

Virtually Fine

In the future, an experimental device can change anyone's worldview. But at what cost?

About The Reviewer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

About The Writer

Gil Saint's picture
Real name: 

Within one year, I went from lonely office drone to Austin Film Festival Semi-Finalist.  How'd I do it? 

I sold my soul to Satan, of course! 

(He overpaid. By A LOT.)

No, no, no -- what was left of my mortal soul, after a life-numbing 9 to 5 sucked all my days into a vortex...Read more

Love Can Wait - Or Can It?!?

Love Can Wait
After an accident involving an old ring, Eric is tormented by the suspicion that love can indeed wait.

Light, fresh… and lots of fun. Those are the key ingredients to a good rom-com. Sprinkle some sympathetic characters into the mix. (And don’t forget the comedic frosting. Vanilla-strawberry, if you please!)

It sounds simple… But one look at what passes for comedy these days will prove it’s not that easy. You need a good script to provide the foundation – to bind your components deliciously!

Fortunately, Love Can Wait by Manolis Froudarakis is the perfect recipe. As this light-hearted comedy opens, twenty year olds Eric and Julie relax on a hill, enjoying an afternoon picnic. Love is clearly in the air; they’re seconds from becoming engaged. Julie shows Eric the ring her grandpa gave to his beloved when he proposed. She reminisces how grandma promised she’d wait forever. However long it would take…

Sensing the perfect moment, Eric gets down on one knee – and slips the ring on Julie’s finger. But before either can say “I do”, a terrible accident occurs… landing Eric in the hospital!

As Eric wakes and struggles to clear his head, Julie’s the first thing he sees. But the woman before him is ancient… the diamond ring sparkling on a wrinkled finger.

Has their love stood the ultimate test of time? Could Julie have waited sixty years? A simple story with a clever twist, LCW is sure to be a hit with audiences. It’s short, endearing and funny. The perfect dessert for directors with a comedic sweet tooth!

The Script

Love Can Wait

After an accident involving an old ring, Eric is tormented by the suspicion that love can indeed wait.

About The Reviewer

KP Mackie's picture
Real name: 

Über reader. I enjoy writing animated scripts, historical-fiction and westerns, when I'm not reading or researching new story ideas. So many ideas, so little time...

Script Revolution is a great place to interact with old friends and make new friends. It's all about networking!  ;D  ...Read more

About The Writer

Manolis Froudarakis's picture

Manolis Froudarakis is a produced, award-winning screenwriter from Greece. His main focus is comedy, often with a dark edge. You can contact him at: mfroudarakis@yahoo.grRead more

Gone - But Never Forgotten

Gone
A teenage boy flees the family farm after suffering abuse from his alcoholic father.

The talented screenwriting team of Mary Goldman and Tim House bring us the touching short drama, Gone. As the script opens, teen Louie slinks into the family kitchen. Almost instantly, his Ma and younger brother Henry notice something’s… wrong.

When Louie asks where his Pa is, the tension in the air thickens. Ma herself is particularly keen to figure out the source of Louie’s discomfort before his father arrives home.

Louie’s lost the family dog, Lady. His confession is interrupted by the entrance of Pa – whose stern demeanour and drunken tendencies don’t help the situation or news.

Louie removes his jacket. Hangs it on a hook. His movements slow and deliberate. Ma knows her boy. She notices.

MA
What's eatin' you?

LOUIE
Aw...Lady run off agin.

HENRY
You're gonna git it now!

MA
You mind yer own business, Henry.
Fer Chrissakes, Louie. Didn't Pa tell ya to keep her chained?

LOUIE
Yeah, I know...but she saw a squirrel...she just got away.

MA
(sighs)
Now there's gonna be hell to—

PA (mid-30s, tall, weathered) enters with a stern expression. The family freezes.

PA
Where the hell is Lady?

Ma remains silent. Louie looks at the floor.

MA
Now, Earl...

PA
Jesus, Louie. I done told you that bitch is untrainable.
How stupid can you be?

Quickly, the family dynamics become all too clear.

Pa’s that all oppressing force upon the household. And when he has a drink in him, his temper and brooding grows. That’s a danger Louie and his family know very well.

Later that night, a fireside conversation with his father is the catalyst for Louie to finally question his position within the household. Still: it’s one thing to want to escape an abuser, and yet another to actually see it through.

Will Louie pluck up the courage and confidence to flee the farm he’s called home all his life?

Family dramas that revolve around alcohol and abuse can easily fall into common tropes. But when genuine relationships are weaved into a tale, stories that cover such tender topics have the power to strike emotional gold. Such is the case with Gone. In every page, the threat of Pa feels real and imminent. Thanks to the easily obtained and affordable settings, Gone’s an indie producer’s dream, too.

If you’re looking for a drama to showcase terrific directing and acting – this powerhouse little script makes all the right moves!

 

 

The Script

Gone

A teenage farm boy flees the family farm after suffering abuse from his alcoholic father.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Mary Goldman's picture
Real name: 

I am a Toronto writer and actor with an eclectic background: Tried my hand at fashion design, which led me to graphic design where I found a home working primarily in print media. Raised a family, jumped into my childhood dream of acting and managed to book professional jobs in film, TV shows...Read more

Turf Wars - Crossing Lawns (and Old Men) is Never Good

Turf Wars
A grieving elderly widower and a misunderstood school drop-out fight over the man's lawn only to find new comfort and companionship in an unexpected way.

Author Fiona Faith Rose brings us Turf Wars, a comedy not only packed with outstanding visual humour, but moments of tenderness as well.

We open on old man Bill Henning, casting a rheumy eye over the pride and joy that is his front lawn. A lawn that initially appears perfect. But upon closer inspection, we find the thin tire tracks of a bike scored into the soil.

Upon finding the marks, Bill grunts his displeasure and returns to painstaking work with a pair of shears in hand. Only to be soon interrupted by the perpetrator and his two wheeled weapon of choice, teenager Darren - who speeds past the old man and traces further marks across Bill’s beloved grass.

Enough is enough! Bill hatches a plan.

Bill casts his eye over his perfect velvet lawn, diagonally scarred by thin tyre-tracks. He grunts, wipes his nose on his sleeve, then lines up his long-handled shears on a wire he has stretched between two stakes to guide his edge...

...and trims the straggly grass to a neat fringe.

Behind him, an old but deadly pedal bike shoots in from left field and traces the tyre-tracks...

...ridden by scruffy DARREN (15), buzz-cut school dropout.

Bill shakes his fist at the boy’s disappearing back.

BILL
Vandal!

Eat-my-shit laughter reaches him on the slip stream.

Bill tenses, angry-gorilla-style, then narrows his eyes, rubs his chin.

Bill strikes back at his teenage oppressor, but Darren won’t let it lie either.  Escalating quickly into a comedic tit for tat battle between the two.

In lesser hands, this short could descent into a farcical conflict between the ages, but Rose has created a work of greater depth. The true meaning of the lawn for Bill is soon revealed. But will he be able to save it from Darren, and will the two be able to find some kind of truce to stop a seemingly inevitable war?

At just four pages, Turf Wars is an easy read; but one that leaves both an emotional and comedic impact on the reader. As visual comedy and carnage abound, it is undeniably a funny short, a story just waiting for the right producer to come along and bring life to this emotion laden chaotic gem.

 

The Script

Turf Wars

An elderly widower and a school drop-out fight over the man's lawn only to find comfort and companionship in an unexpected way.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Fiona Faith Ross's picture
Real name: 

FADE IN.

So, CJ asks...

  • Where your passion lies.
  • Your journey so far.
  • Where you want to go.
  • What makes you special?
  • What you’re working on.

It's a kick up the ***. Five times. Got me thinking.

Writing a bio is crap,...Read more

New Age Enema - What You Put Into a Script Counts!!

New Age Enema
A jealous friend gets her wish.

With a title that grabs attention, and a page count that hides a surprisingly deep theme, author J. Phillip Wilkins has created a great short screenplay in New Age Enema that’s sure to grab fans. Giggles, too.

Struggling actresses Stella and Josie stand at the entrance of a San Francisco cable car, discussing the latter’s recent success in acquiring a role in a high profile film. As the cable car drives onwards, tension rises between the two.

Stella finds her friend’s sudden success suspicious. Upon hearing some of Josie's questionable past film roles, most readers will too. As Josie defends her acting record, Stella spots her friend's possible source of good luck dangling around her neck.

STELLA
You’ve never even had a callback.
You suck at acting.

JOSIE
First of all, you’re a dumb whore for saying that,
and secondly, I am not bad at acting.

STELLA
I’ve seen “Terror Vixens In Heat”.

JOSIE
They didn’t give me time to create a backstory.

STELLA
Did you have the same problem
on the set of “Mega Snatch”?

JOSIE
Fuck you.

The cable car hits a bump. Josie takes her hand away from her chest to grab a strap to steady herself. Stella notices a beautiful, new-age crystal pendant hanging from a delicate silver chain around Josie’s neck. She reaches for it.

STELLA
Let me see your crystal.

Josie jerks away. Stepping back, her heel hangs off the edge of the exit steps.  Almost instantly, the situation escalates – with Josie hanging from the edge of the moving cable car, off balance - albeit within reach of her BFF.

What ultimately will Stella value more? Josie – or a mysterious crystal that could “maybe” grant her celebrity status and riches? Download New Age Enema to find out.

Size is rarely important, and not all short screenplays need a large page count to be a success. With its witty tone and a style of writing easy on the eye, Wilkins gives us a spiffy two page comedy/fantasy that explores a universal theme: friendship fractured by jealousy.

If you’re a producer with an eye for comedy in bite sized chunks, New Age Enema is a fast and fulfilling read!

 

The Script

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

J. Phillip Wilkins's picture
Real name: 

J. Phillip Wilkins is a composer and the author of several unfinished books, including 'Desert Witch', 'The Girl From Yuma', 'Laughter, Far Away', and 'Lighthouse At The World's End'. His tenure as one-third of indie pop outfit The Postmarks was followed by a move to the West Coast demimonde....Read more

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